- Amanda Whittaker
Adults can apologize.
I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t say I am sorry.
I’m more sorry for the times I assumed you knew I was sorry.
I’m sorry for the times I was in too big of a hurry to be fully present.
I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to how your kids were doing because I was so focused on my to do list.
I am sorry I yelled at you to be quiet when I was on a call.
I am sorry I sent a text when I should have picked up the phone.
I am sorry I forgot to send a note on your birthday.
I am sorry for not being who you needed that day.
I don’t know if it’s the podcasts, the enneagram or my daily pursuit to develop more empathy (yes you actually can develop that skill) but if no one has told you this today, I would like to remind you wonderful adults - adults are allowed to apologize.
We teach our kids to say I am sorry when they hurt someone.
We hear that women apologize too much in the workplace.
We find ourselves saying I’m sorry then adding a “but” to explain and justify our behavior.
But somewhere along the way we forgot “I am sorry” is a complete sentence and specificity strengths it.
Somewhere along the path we began to believe that adults don’t have to apologize for their behavior.
Somehow we learned that we’re entitled to hurt others intentionally and unintentionally.
Likely because we’ve been hurt.
How many walls would come down if someone apologized for taking a rough work day out on a spouse? How much time could be saved with owning our choices or actions instead of leaving someone wondering what they did wrong? How many hearts could heal if someone just followed the “i’m sorry” with a hug and didn’t say a word. Think how powerful those words would mean if we didn’t say them when we were late to a meeting because the kids were tough to drop off at daycare or if the words didn’t get wasted apologizing for our feelings. Its been something I’ve become super aware of and I invite you to join me. Listen to how many times you hear someone say “I’m sorry” during the day and they actually didn’t do anything wrong or hurtful but then notice how many times “I’m sorry” could have diffused an argument or healed hurt feelings.
We’re all adults here.
Let’s go show our strength by first showing vulnerability.